Depression

she prefers boys who are good looking ~
she prefers boys who can always accompany her .
she prefers boys who can always hang out with her .
she prefers boys that are better than me .
she prefers boys who can make her feel safe .

she wants her boyfriend to be but i fail to do .
she just want her boyfriend to be good looking .
the boy suits her well .
i dont have any sadness or depression ,
i will repect her decision that break with me and together with him .
i will wont disturb her anymore .
she dont even take me as friend .
i dont wan to know it
i want to die heart on her .
she made me cant concentrate on many things
at school , friends can make me forget everything she did it to me .
she doesnt want my love ,
she doesnt want my care ,
she just push me away and sweet with another guy .

WHAT"S BROTHER ?
IMPOSSIBLE ?
what's this word means ?
she said before ,
but she still prefers him .
she treat me cool .
because she knows than if she msg with me .
that guy will be jealous .
but i also dont want this kind of reply .
so annoying .
like treating me as enemy .
then i prefer dont msg her anymore .
let her be what she want to be .
i not her anyone
so I DONT CARE !
i guess i dont have feeling to her anymore .
after i heard her things
i felt nothing .
is that good for me ?
really ?
i guess many of my friends willl argee this .
my phone had been confiscated .
because my cousin .
i wanted to help her .
i take her as a cousin very seriously
but so suprise that she dont even care .
that was quite shock .
the girl i loved before .
she taught me something new
althought she break me
but i learned that love must choose the one that suit u most .
i cant be so direct .
cant simply put feeling to a girl .
i guess i needed to think properly
and know the girl well first .
only decide .
ya .
cant be childish anymore .
many ppl will worried .
PMR coming .
i hope that i can do it well .
i cant be depress anymore
made me cant concentrate well .
kinda regret that my attitude and the way i do things
very direct
must change .
love is totally unfair .
but now i dont need it yet .
i still 15 years old .
i wont simply put feeling to a girl anymore .
hurted twice .
i cant be that foolish anymore .

so go on girl .
i will be fine without you in my life !
i mean it
appreciate what you have girl ~
love to me , in my life
is already meaningless .
now i dont want to love anyone anymore !
after my pmr
i will only choose .
i wont be so immature
to go and hit a guy or what .
i will just take as gave the guy a present .
rape it with a ribbon and give her to him .
i dont need her anymore .
i just need friends
friends in my life is ENOUGH already .
now she in riding somebody else car .
lols .
what should i care .
she not my who also .
someone touched my fs before .
i know who is it .
but fine i also dont want to msg her .

now she hates me i think will be better for both of us
let her thinks i'm not a good guy better still
let her thinks i'm just a guy that want faces
let her thinks i'm a bad person ,
i guess like this is better for me and her .

depression ?
sadness ?
moody ?
scare ?
no more !

learning to love again .
hope it happens

go on girl .

Go On Girl

Oooh... ooohh
Ooooohh...
Verse 1:I can't get her back, butI don't want her back, IRealized that,She don't know how to actNever been a dumb dudeNo I'm not denseI just had a slight lackOf common senseI was the good guyShe was the bad girlI'm thinking one girlShe thinking me, Earl James and JimmyYep she had plentyBut love for me, she didn't have any
I was inviting, her into my heartBut she was out riding in some other man's carShe was my night time, thought I was her starGuess I was wrong, but see I'm strongWon't take long for me to move on
Hook:Oh, please don't worry bout me I'm fine(Please don't worry bout me I'm fine)Only gonna play the fool one time(Only gonna play the fool one time)Trust me when I sayThat I'll be okGo on girl(Go on girl)Go on girl(Go on girl)Go on girl
Verse 2:I can't get her back, butI don't want her back, IRealized that,She don't know how to actTried to settle down and look what I getThought it was my time, but I guess not yetShe at the bar getting drinks from many menI'm in the house, thinking she's with her girlfriendsJust not knowing, truly not knowingI look back now like, man, I was open
I was inviting, her into my heartBut she was out riding in some other man's carShe was my night time, thought I was her starGuess I was wrong, but see I'm strongWon't take long for me to move on
Hook:Oh, please don't worry bout me I'm fine(Please don't worry bout me I'm fine)Only gonna play the fool one time(Only gonna play the fool one time)Trust me when I sayThat I'll be okGo on girl(Go on girl)Go on girl(Go on girl)Go on girl
BridgeOoh, the mistake I made is clear(We never should been together)That's the reason you're not here(I know that I can do much better)Not a single salty tearNot a feeling in my chestBaby I'm feeling no stressI'm too fly to be depressed
Go on GirlGo on Girl
Ooh...
Go on GirlGo on Girl
Ooh... oooohh
Ooh... ooooohh
Ooh... ooh
Hook:Please don't worry bout me I'm fine(Please don't worry bout me I'm fine)Only gonna play the fool one time(Only gonna play the fool one time)Trust me when I sayThat I'll be okGo on girl(Go on girl)Go on girl(Go on girl)Go on girl
Ooh, please don't worry bout me I'm fine(Please don't worry bout me I'm fine)Only gonna play the fool one time(Only gonna play the fool one time)Trust me when I sayThat I'll be okGo on girl(Go on girl)Go on girl(Go on girl)Go on girl
Go on girlGo on girlGo on girl
I'll be fine...

What a day !

Broke up with her at the first days, it's so hard to accept it that she is not in my life anymore .

really a failure in love, i did promise before i had to control myself that must give her freedom and

spaces but i just cant, those time i really wanted her to accompany me more . But end up she say

i'm annoying , that was hurt enough ! if she didn't do the things i don't like, i also don't need to be

that always moody ! always scared ! always want to say things to comfort me ! These is all just she

expect me to believe . But after she mix with another boy, she just said is BROTHER BROTHER !

after i know she mix with him , she changed , totally changed ! 3 times she said want to break with me ! haiz !

but gave me very unsafe, many time like that already but she just didn't take it seriously !

SWEATS !

I also don't want these to happen to us ! I thought that this girlfriend will pass 3 months, but no

she said i'm not her type, not the good looking boyfriend she wanted, but everytime i did it to

to improve myself, try and try an try to be the type she wanted, but i just don't have time !

Just because PMR made me no time to do all this things, haiz ~~~

IMPOSSIBLE ? just now saw she wrote, wow, almost cried !

first time so love a girl ,

first time so let a girl hurt ,

first time so let a girl so love her ,

first time fall in love ,

i just i don't have the LUCK to be with her , although i love her so much !

she won't think back for me or wanted this love anymore ,

only reason , i'm not her type !

haiz ~

i love her so much !

people say is not good i like that ,

i put a lot of effort on my exam .

but i just can't concentrate without her beside me supporting me by love !

i just love her !

love her with my whole heart .

the last time she told me she love me is at 20/9/08 5:45 !

hurt badly .

when i need her .

she totally not around !

haiz ~

this is all i deserve it .

totally ! but i cant accept it anymore . cause my heart cant take it anymore ! everything she does to me very hurt

but i can stand it when she's around ! but now . no more !

it's over ! everything ! i'm exhausted ! IMPOSSIBLE ! yeah , i think this is good for both of us !

love you so much !

you broke my heart !

you let go my love !

put away my care !

5/7/08 - ended 20/9/08

74days .

i really a failure boyfriend !