Waiting Missing n Loving

After a bad relationship with her ,
lol , thinking of it ,
is like waiting for a IMPOSSIBLE love to happen ,
so after she is together with that GUY
make me think of giving up ,
i am telling myself ,
must be mature to accept
must be mature to be forgive and forget ,
well ,
i did ,
congrat myself .. = =
i told her many things that i will do after my PMR
stupid exam ...
i hate that so much ,
make me lost everything that i own ....
lol ,
hmmm ,
i dont care it anymore anyway ... haha
i told her ,
i was going to pierce ,
i was going to put bracers ,
i was going to buy new clothes ,
i was going to learn guitar ,
i was going to build myself ,
i was going to hang out more with her ...
but haven't reach PMR
she already left me .
after that i did concentrate at my exam
but i found ...
is already to late .
so i tried and tried ,
but not a good result i get
i cant get anything that i always wanted
but i gain family love n concern
well
isn't so bad

After 3 weeks of BAD MOOD n DEPRESSION
i think i dont believe in love stuff
so i give up love and live alone with computer ...
awww...
so lonely huh ,
hard time , hard feelings ,
i already have felt and pass it over
then i found a girl ...
many people said ,
she ain't very pretty ,
but after a few chats with her ...
i felt myself
something happened ,
none of this feeling happen before ,
something happen for first time
so deep inside
after that ,
i had a crush with her ,
miracle do happen ,
so i kept it deep inside ,
didn't speak to anyone ,
just tell myself to control myself ,
cause i don't want to be like last time,
i don't have the courage neither the confidence
i had been let people scolding me that i'm freaking annoying ,
i did try to walk away from this crush .
but
how hard i find
is just so hard to forget
is just so hard to give up
cause i know myself ain't a good-looking boy
so i did keep myself to that ...
after i saw a movie,
it let me think
nobody is perfect !
so this crush ,
is still here ,
but kept deep inside my heart ..
waiting and waiting and waiting ..
for some time
but now is already four months ...
unexpected huh
i also don't know what is happen to me ..
not the first time to love
but the first time so love
like i see another girls
i don't have any interest ...
but this is the happy part ...
one day
i saw a message that she said that my friends is kinda good looking
and she likes her or not ..
i was totally totally pissed off
so i think for awhile
since she got a starting at him
why not i try to pass him to her
but end up they didnt make it
so i also continue my love....
i told her how i felt
but time is still needed for herself
haiz ...
nevermind then
four months waiting
why not waiting for somemore time
i am here loving her
waiting one day she will realise how much i love her ...
i do hope i and her is more then ordinary friend ....
missing her ....